What Happens When You Fail?

Have you ever thought about embracing failure?  I mean, to actually welcome it with open arms and appreciate it for it’s true beauty and mystery?  Have you ever been knocked off your feet… been screwed over by someone… lost it all… made huge mistakes… beat yourself up about things so much it makes you a walking-wreck-of-emotional-horror?

Have you ever been wounded so badly, you develop a fear that is so encompassing it stops you in your tracks and prevents you from getting back on the horse at all?  Have you ever had such a huge failure or mistake that you carry it with you everywhere?  I mean, does that mistake or problem or emotional scar follow you everywhere and all the time, even when you sleep and at every waken moment?

Do you have an emotional scar that’s so deep it seems permanent and handicaps you from achieving your dreams/goals — or even functioning at all?  Well, not only does everyone fail and has problems and adversities, but we all have one major thing in common with each other… we’re human.

You know that old saying that it’s not what happens to you that is important, but how you react to what happens that’s truly important?  I believe it’s true.  Your resolve to get back on the horse… your determination to push through adversities and face fears… shapes success and achievement.  Therefore, failure is a part of the footsteps towards success.  Your willingness to take leaps of faith, despite the chance of failure, shapes success.

You know that old saying, “to get the fruit, you must go out on the limb” or something like that… well I believe that too.  I call it a leap of faith.  Some may even call it taking a risk.  When people who reached 100 years of age were surveyed, one of the questions asked was what they regretted in their lives (looking back over those 100 years) and one of the most common answers was they regretted not risking more in their past.

Pretend for a moment you are 100 years old.  Your 1o1st birthday is next.  At any second, you could be gone from this planet.  That breath you just took in, could have been your last.  When you wake up in the morning, as a 100 year old, you’re thankful you get to see another morning on planet Earth.  You are 100 years old right now (for pretend — unless you really are 100 years old, then congrats on a long life journey).

Now, think back over your 100 years of life.  Don’t you wish you would have risked more??  Doesn’t those little pesky adversities and fears seem microscopic now?  I mean, think about the things that hold most people back from taking leaps of faith… those things dont seem so BIG now do they?  I mean, are you really afraid of what people will think now?  Are you really still worried about how you look on video… how well you write… how smart or good looking you are… about an accent you might have… about a lack of time to implement things?  NO, it should not feel so BIG  and so HARD to take action because of fears of continued failure.

Failure is just another opportunity to try again but better the next time around.  You see, many times, if you have true faith, failure can be an opportunity for something better.  Ever heard of the saying… “Thank God For unanswered prayers”?  Have you ever had something that seems bad happen, only to later find you are damn grateful that bad thing happened?

I mean, I wanted to be a pro baseball player.  Looking back now, maybe I would not have met my wife if that dream had come true.  Or, I remember not getting this one awesome job I applied for.  I really-really wanted it and when I did not get it, I was down and out, and completely upset.  I failed.

But, I’m now extremely grateful I did not get that job.  Maybe… just maybe… if I would have gotten that job, I would still be at that job earning 75k per year, instead of having many (single) months where I’ve earned that much online!  Maybe I’d be scraping by, maybe I would have gotten fired.  Maybe it would have been so stressful I got sick.  Who knows?

In the book, “The Science Of Getting Rich”, the writings explain how when you have faith and follow the principles in that book, you are to be grateful when something you want does not work out.  It says to be thankful and have faith that something better is to come.  Do you believe that kind of stuff?  I do.  It has worked for me and I think it has worked for millions and millions of other people too, even people who do not realize what happened.

Failure?  Are you kidding?  It’s part of the journey of life.  Want more life?  Take more leaps of faith DESPITE that risk of failure.  You can take calculated risks, smart moves, smart action steps, but don’t ever let the fear of failing prevent you from achieving your dreams and goals.  Take leaps of faith.  Success and abundance is found on the other side of taking leaps of faith.  When you take action, you set everything in motion for you.  Lack of taking action keeps you right where you are and right where you’ve been.

Fortune favors the bold.

Just do it.

Everyday is Christmas!

Respectfully,

Eric Louviere

PS – how you approach and think about failure can shape your entire life.  Sometimes just tweaking the way you “think” about failure is all it takes to explode your success and achieve dreams.  How should people view failure?

15 Comments to “ What Happens When You Fail?”

  1. Mike T. says :Reply

    Eric love the post. Eric is an awesome mentor by the way!

    What if Michael Jordan gave up after he was cut from the Varsity?

    “I’ve missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I’ve lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I’ve been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.”
    — Michael Jordan

  2. Eric,

    You are so right.

    Fortunately for me, my mother and my “prior” career both encouraged failure, in fact, they embraced failure for all the advantages it has and how it puts you closer to your goals.

    Despite that, and try (and failing) a lot, I can think of times when I should have risked more.

    Unfortunately, my wife grew of being terrorized by her father for any real or imagined failure and developed a pattern of not trying so she didn’t fail.

    It’s been “interesting” helping her work past that and not be afraid of trying and failing.

    Thanks as always for the post.

    David

    1. Eric Louviere says :Reply

      Isn’t it interesting how inside the word “encourage” is the word “courage” David? Then, think about failure… or more so the fear of failure and the prevention of taking leaps of faith… doesn’t it require “courage” to take those leaps of faith? In order to have “courage” one must have faith.

      I think of those bull fighters. If they did not have faith, they would not have courage to step in the ring with a crazy bull and let that bull sprint to destroy them to only side step that damn bull. Those crazy dudes have some serious courage. But, if they had no courage and no faith, it would be labeled something different… suicide!

      Just like we may think those bull fighters are nuts, I have quite a few old friends and family members who’ve thought the same of my business ventures. 🙂

      Be an online bull fighter! (hey, I coined that nobody steal that!) jk

      Eric

      1. Online bullfighter, I love it!

  3. Eric Louviere says :Reply

    great one!

    I am/was a huge Jordan fan and even bought his “come fly with me”
    VCR tape many years ago. I wore that tape out I watched it so
    many times. Imagine if (one of the greatest) basketball players
    gave up and never got back on the horse!!

    Thanks Mike!

    Eric

  4. I felt the only thing you could have addressed is the, “how” to realize when you are at the bottom of a ” failure” and recognize the blessing.

    As it is generally only in hindsight the message is clear, most of the system is set up for the JOB
    ( just over broke ) mentality which in its self is a box people are fearful of climbing out of.

    Russell

  5. Hey Eric…

    This is exactly what I’ve been thinking since the last few months! I keep telling myself that I thank God for not letting me to succeed in IM that soon, because I know myself too well… if I did, at a younger age, I would have fallen into those arrogant or ego kind of states.

    I’m well prepared now, and I get to be much more comfortable with my mindset, the way I think, my current situation etc. I thank those failures, seriously. I embrace them, seriously!

    Also, I found out that after failing numerous times, I started to know how to respect failures. In order to succeed, we need to fail, and fail faster, so that we can learn much more from the experience in the past.

    Of course, there are ways like study other people’s cases on failing in what they wanna achieve, but that’s not the point atm.

    Failing it, having gone through tons of failures, you get to be a smarter, wiser person too!

    That’s what I’ve been getting recently 😉

    So yeap, thanks for this Eric…

    Guess I’m speaking YOUR language now… LOL!

    Have a good weekend over there.

    Aiden

    P.S. Maybe this is what you’re looking for, too: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D1R-jKKp3NA

  6. Vlad says :Reply

    Ever since I was 7yrs old, I have been a violinist. That is I thought of myself and saw my whole life ahead as a professional violinist. I never questioned why I wanted that, because when I started learning the violin it was because my parents wanted me to and once I got into it, I guess it kind of took over most of my life. I grew up in soviet russia and being a violin student in Russia is a fairly involved experience. Oh, and I was good at it.

    I ended up graduating from the Sydney Conservatorium of Music and got a job as a rank and file violinist in the Opera orchestra. Sounds glamorous, doesn’t it? Well… The pay, at least in those years, was crap and the working hours were very anti-social to say the least.

    Still, I saw myself as fulfilling my destiny and never questioned the way my life was going for years. Professionally I was doing very well. I became the leader of the 2nd violin section and would occasionally lead the whole orchestra. But one day, I woke up and realised this is not what I want to be doing for the rest of my life. I mean I love music and I enjoy performing, but I hated it as a job. The drudgery of constant rehearsing, the terrible work hours and the very poor pay.

    It was a shocking realisation because I’ve just spent something like 18 years practicing violin up to 8 hours each day and have worked as an orchestral violinist for 10 years. And yet, I realised it wasn’t me and I needed to do something else.

    It was a massive leap of faith to leave all that behind and start a new business with my dad building kitchen cabinets. We borrowed a lot of money, bought equipment and within a few months we knew we were failing, miserably. Neither of us had ever run a business before, sold “stuff” for a living and I knew NOTHING about cabinetmaking or kitchens. Both of our houses were on the line, my wife and I just had our first child… The whole situation had failure written all over it.

    15 years on, I am still in the same business and I’ve learned a lot. I’ve learned to be tougher, I’ve learned the benefits of perseverance and I’ve learned that failure is both subjective and transient. What I saw as catastrophic 15 years ago, I now see as just one of life’s little obstacles and I also know that something that may seem like an insurmountable problem today may turn out to be a minor inconvenience tomorrow.

    Failure is not final (unless of course it results in an actual loss of life) and the older I get, the more I understand it is literally impossible to succeed without some failures along the way. With age, I have also realised that most of us fear failure mainly because we fear the reaction of others when we fail. Think about it, if no one knows you’ve failed, would it really matter as much? So the real question is when you are stretching yourself, when you’re reaching for the stars and when you take chances that result in failure, should you worry about what others might think? Hell no!

    I’ve rambled on for too long, I don’t want this to be a longer reply than Eric’s original post, lol. All I am going to say is that two years ago I discovered internet marketing and made it my mission to get to a point where the income from my marketing business replaces and doubles the income I currently get form my cabinetmaking business. It’s not easy and I fail every other day, but I’m getting more and more wins and I’ve been there before, I know I can do it again.

    Vlad

  7. Metodi says :Reply

    I think it’s how you look at it…

    For me, I’m pretty positive every thing that I once thought was a “failure” or some developments I thought I should be “regretting”, actually turned out for the better in the long run. It’s a good philosophy to live by.

    At the same time, I can always be bolder and doing more…

    Keep looking for new ways all the time 🙂

    Metodi

  8. Ready to start out!!!!!

    The last ten years of my life have been so full of huge obstacles and setbacks. Awesome! I’ve learned how to keep going through the worst adversities and still keep putting one foot in front of the other. I’ve learned that no matter how deep the depression goes, how to light that little candle inside that says to yourself, “We are getting through this. Better days will come.” No matter how bad things appear, I remember I’ve been though worse, and come through stronger with grace. I am very thankful for my setbacks, they have carved the character into who I have become and will become.

    This morning I read an awesome quote from one of my facebook contacts. I am not sure who originated it, but I liked it so much I printed it on a page and pinned it to my wall:

    “Success is a lot less about getting what you want than it is about being who you want.”

    I think that applies perfectly here. I must be willing to BE the best I can be RIGHT NOW and GET UP from every HIT that tries to stop me from being WHOM I want to be. I must be learning and growing by using my mind body and soul as a muscle strengthens… by bearing resistance repeatedly and healing from damage!

    Yay, I’m going to use that as my first blog post. Hope you visit and check back, I tend to write about what inspires me, always staying positive, and have been told I write beautifully and with insight. ElaineNicol.com.

    Like I said, ready to start out!!! Watch for me and say hi 🙂

  9. Mike Carl says :Reply

    Failure is a direct effect of fears really. It stems from your beliefs. We were taught to accept certain ideas and we’ve never questioned them.

    The image of who you see yourself to be was created by:
    1) Authority
    2) Impact
    3) Repetition

    A lie repeated with authority, over time, is believed.

    Failure is one of the destructive effect of fears.

    “When a man’s mind is confused by fear, he is in no position to accept an opportunity…” Raymond Holliwell

    The fears that stop you:
    – Fear of rejection
    – Fear of overwhelm
    – Fear of success
    – Fear of failure
    – Fear of what others will think if you promote
    – Fear of humiliation
    – Fear of making mistakes fear of becoming greedy
    – Fear of the unknown
    – Fear of asking for money
    – Fear of confrontation
    – Fear of losing freedom
    – Fear of what others will think if you make money
    – Fear of growing too big
    – Fear of losing it all
    – Fear of being exposed
    – Fear of not being able to pay the bills
    – Fear of not being enough
    – Fear of not doing things right
    – Fear of not filling a class to capacity
    – Fear of getting hurt emotionally
    – Fear if feast and famine
    – Fear of being vulnerable
    – Fear of being fully authentic
    – Fear of poverty
    – Fear of not fitting in
    – Fear of not fully grasping concepts
    – Fear of not having clients
    – Fear of not having enough
    – Fear of facing your deepest truth
    – Fear of criticism
    – Fear of your own power

    Although your fears FEEL real, they actually don’t exist. Fear is the sword of the ego that the ego fabricated to keep you small. It is manufactured by the ego to keep you within your “comfort zone,” within the ego’s control… and it’ll do ANYTHING for you not to grow and keep things status quo.

    You’ll know when your ego gets in the way because you’ll hear yourself come up with all sorts of excuses.

    Excuses like, “I’m too old,” “I’m not smart enough,” I can’t really make that much money,” “There’s too much competition,” “I lack focus,” “They won’t pay for this,” “I have nothing to offer,” “I’m not good at marketing,” “People won’t hire me in this economy,” “I’m not a good speaker,” “I don’t have money to market,” “I have to work too hard to succeed,” “I don’t like to sell,” “It can’t be easy; it must be hard,” “I never win so why bother…”

    …and the list of the ego fighting with you goes on and on.

    Fear is an attempt to avoid “perceived future pain” (which doesn’t exist).

    “Fear is not of the present, but only of the past and future, which do not exist. There is no fear in the present when each instant stands clear and separated from the past, without it shadow reaching into the future… And the present extends forever.” (A Course In Miracles)

    In other words, the ONLY REALITY is this moment.

    How do you eliminate fear from your life?

    Walk directly into it and act in spite of the fear. The act of walking into it is NEVER as ‘bad’ as you feared in the first place. Choose to act from Faith not Fear.

    Where do beliefs/fears come from?

    They are hand-me-downs from parents. They come from what we have witnessed. They are thrust upon us from widely-held social or cultural beliefs. And they come from experiences gone wrong.
    It starts when we were children. We virtually took everything as fact. Your beliefs from childhood are still driving you today and affect your business and income.

    The great news is the beliefs/fears can be changed. The negative beliefs aren’t valid.

    Everything I told you thus far is not something I made up. It’s about me and the struggles I went through and continue to work on and I just wanted to share with you what I know to be true.

    I used to think that marketing was 90% of my business and 10% was mindset. Now I KNOW that mindset accounts for 90% and marketing 10%.

    I leave you with this (I’m sure you’ve read or heard this before, but it’s so appropriate for this subject). And as a caveat… you can replace the word ‘God’ with whatever you believe in (Source, The Universe, Spirit), the meaning is the same:

    “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.

    We ask ourselves, ‘Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?” Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you.

    We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” – Marianne Willamson, A Return To Love

  10. Robert C Brown says :Reply

    There’s no virtue in growing old; it just takes a long time. It’s how you live your life that matters.

    Over the past few years, I have failed quite epically, as they say. This, I maintain, is a Good Thing – not just because I’m inexcusably optimistic, but because of the lessons learned and, more importantly, the opportunities gained. Eric, you have had your failures, so you know precisely what I mean.

    In the meantime: carpe diem.

  11. Jenny says :Reply

    Great article, Eric…
    From the age of 12 I had passionately wanted to sing but let fear ( in the form of shyness, which I guess is fear of rejection) rule me. At age 36 I finally decided that I didn’t want to get to 80yrs and say “what if”. So I finally took some lessons, mainly because I *needed* someone else to tell me if I had *something* to work with … or to take up knitting.

    Just practising in my own back room ( by myself) I would have nervous sweat pouring down my back . Then 2 months later I saw an advert in the local paper of a band looking for a lead vocalist. By this time ( and age) I said what the hell…. nobody ever died from making an *$#hole of themselves… so I went for an audition, got the job in a hard rock band and discovered that I don’t get stage fright… ever…, 20 years on I can sing qualm-free in front of 5,000 people… no problem.

    I might add that I was so shy I did not sing in front of my husband for our first 11 years of marriage, in the shower , car, nothing !

    The funny thing is, now, I’m starting online / offline marketing and I’ve gone back to sweat down the back (less severe tho) 🙂 but I know it’s only temporary and the quicker I add F-up to F-up, the quicker I’ll be in a comfort zone.

    Cheers to all

  12. Hey Eric,
    Long time no see my friend. I emailed Matt a few days ago to fill him in on my absence. I’m just getting my head straight and I’m back in the game. Been catching up on Xtreme webinars I missed and rewatching your videos on mindset and breaking barriers.

    After reading your post, I immediately thought of Colonel Sanders (KFC). He endured over 1,000 rejections before finally getting someone to work with him and give his secret fried chicken recipe a chance. What if he had stopped at the 999th rejection?

    Never Give Up!

    Thanks for keeping me inspired to Drive-On brother.

    Gig ‘Em

    TXRN

  13. Shaun says :Reply

    All very cool stuff….and so true.

    Think we have to go back to being kids, just like when
    we were learning to walk…..we kept on moving forward..
    we didn’t sit around in our diapers lamenting how tough
    things are.

    So if we leap forward 20, 30, 40 or 50 years we have to
    revert back to our child like innocence, on our online
    journey…KNOW we will succeed and don’t dwell on current
    situation….focus on the place/thing we want and GO FOR IT!

    Cheers
    Shaun

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